Camp Redemption - 10 Lucky Passes for 10 Unlucky Campers (Part 2 of 2)

When we were last together, I had laid out my plan: Go through all twelve of the FRIDAY THE 13TH films (including the remake and FREDDY VS JASON) and find the ten people that I deemed most worthy of a second chance.  Whether they had charisma, name recognition, too little screen time, or just a really REALLY unfair kill scene, each of my final list members would be the ones that I would bring back for a FRIDAY THE 13TH reality show (well, the losers show.  We'd have a second show for all of the final girls and final guys.  'Nother time, folks!)

You can read the first part of the article by clicking here, or just by scrolling down.   Don't be lazy.... go do it.  I'll wait.  Seriously... I have a pizza in the microwave (with bacon bits!).   I have the time.  Go!  (Seriously don't scroll down.... by doing that you'll spoil the list of 10.  Click that link up there).

Okay, before I give my list, a few ground rules:

1. My list, my rules.

2. That's it for rules.

You'll have your chance to respond at the end, and I'm even gonna offer a prize for the best participant.  No shit.

Without any further ado, let's get it on with:

These will be in no particular order, so don't take them as a ranking.   We don't have to rank EVERYTHING, do we?

10. DEMON - FRIDAY THE 13TH V - A NEW BEGINNING

Criteria:

* Very short introduction in almost the third act; obvious added fodder to build body count.

* Miguel Nunez is an actor who has done some nice comic work in the years since his kill; and has even had leads in films such as JUWANNA MANN.   Much more accomplished and polished than most of his NEW BEGINNING cast mates.

* No one should EVER have to get killed on the shitter.

* Co-lead singer on the FRIDAY series' single best song.... "Oooh baby, heyy baby... heyyy baby, ooh baby."   This song should have been allowed to run the full twenty seven minutes it needed.

9.  SARA - FRIDAY THE 13TH A FINAL CHAPTER

CRITERIA:

* Absolutely feels like a "final girl" when first introduced.  Virginal next door type.   Very shocked when she went down, even after they introduced Kimberly Beck next door.

* Full disclosure - High school me had a HUGE crush on this actress when I first saw the film.   My list, my rules.

8. SISSY - JASON LIVES

CRITERIA:

* Likable casts in the FRIDAY series are going to produce results here.  I already put Cort in the Honorable Mention and I could have added more (Paula, Horshack, the lady who tries to use the credit card...) without hesitation.  Sissy gets the slight nod over all of them... but maybe not over EVERYONE in the cast (hint?)

* Sissy is bubbly, fun, does nothing negative and seems to be a good friend to final girl, Megan.

* Sissy also gets a pretty mean-spirited (although well, um... executed) kill gag.

7.  CRAZY RALPH - FRIDAY THE 13TH 1 AND 2

Criteria:

* Ralph runs onto the list from out of left field.   Yes, he made it to a second film.  Yes, he's tragically one note.  Yes, his shirt collar is tattered to all hell....

*...but think of the ENTIRE series (including space!) with a Crazy Ralph cameo.   Every cast does the same dumb ass things.  Every cast makes the same dumb mistakes.  Every cast doesn't understand that going to Camp Crystal Lake is a DUMB FUCKING IDEA.  So why not have Ralph be there in EVERY movie to tell them they are all going to die?   It's not like they are going to listen and go home.

* Or... by the time JASON LIVES rolls around, the likable cast DOES listen to Ralph and DOES go home.  Or gets in Cort's RV and heads to the beach.   The possibilities are endless.   Let em' have it, Ralph!

6. GIBB - FREDDY VS JASON

CRITERIA:

* It's Katharine Isabelle.  She's making my list any time she qualifies for a list I'm making.   Damnit if you guys keep forgetting-- my list, my rules.

* Cute girls in baseball caps are almost automatic entries.

* On a serious note, this may be the biggest bullshit kill in the series.  Am I reading this right?  A girl, who just lost her boyfriend, decides to wash away her sorrows with alcohol at a cornfield rave.   She passes out and goes into Freddy's dream land.   At the same time, some fat fuck gets on top of her in the corn field and may/may not be getting ready to rape her.   While she's having the Freddy nightmare AND while she's got a guy on top of her against her will, Jason comes through the cornfield and impales her (as well as said fat fuck).   I have the most fun with almost every kill in the entire series, but this one almost made this topic un-fun.  I call foul.

5. BRODSKI - JASON X

CRITERIA:

* Back to fun on the list - Brodski's my favorite badass in the series.  Forget Tommy Jarvis.  Forget Tina the Mind Control loser.   And Julius from JASON TAKES MANHATTAN only went one round with Jason, so he's out, too.   You tell me that every film has Brodski trying to kill Jason RIGHT after Crazy Ralph shows up to tell the cast they are going to die.  At least give me a damn JASON VS BRODSKI follow-up.

* Love his lines when he finally meets his demise.

(After being stabbed by Jason):  “It’s going to take more than one poke in the ribs to put down this old dog,” 

(Jason skewers him a 2nd time):  “Yep... that oughtta do it.”

AND THEN HE STILL COMES BACK TO LIFE!  (Where he continues to survive until he grabs Jason, flies into space and supposedly burns up on re-entry to Earth.)

CLASSIC!  Give Brodski a 3 picture deal and let's get shooting!

(Shit-- is Brodski even dead????)

4. SHERIFF GARRIS - JASON LIVES

CRITERIA: 

*  He makes one big mistake.  He doesn't believe Tommy Jarvis.  If he just sorta believes him with an ounce of necessary skepticism, or even does more thorough investigating, who knows how many of JASON LIVES' characters see another day?   After that, he does the decent things, the noble things.

* He obviously loves his daughter, Megan, and will do anything to protect her.

* He makes the noble sacrifice at the campground to protect the children.

* Although bull-headed about Tommy's story, Garris is probably the least cartoonish and most professional law enforcement officer the entire series sees.   (Maybe Sheriff Landis from JASON GOES TO HELL and Sgt. Tierney from the original.  And that's it.)

3. VIOLET - A NEW BEGINNING

CRITERIA:

* No way Violet doesn't make the list.  I think she's only grown in popularity since the film came out.   She's used in gifs everywhere.   How many girls in the entire series have been anything more than cookie-cutter in their looks.

* Seriously, do I need any more reason than this, anyways?

If Violet doesn't make your list, you're not trying.

2. JIMMY - FINAL CHAPTER

CRITERIA:

* Noooooo freakin' way Jimmy doesn't make the list.  There was 0.0% shot he doesn't end up here.  Don't even attempt to argue it.

* Much like "It's Katharine Isabelle," this one is, "It's Crispin Glover."  Every scene that Glover would have been in past his death would have been interesting at the very least.

* Turns out he's not a dead fuck.

* "Ted...hey, Ted... where the hell's the corkscrew???"

1. JASON VOORHEES - FRIDAY THE 13TH (1980)

BOOM.  Mic Drop.

CRITERIA:

* You want to talk unfair death?  I've got your unfair death right here:

Young boy with special needs drowns at summer camp while two asshole snotty camp counselors run off to make out.   His mother, who works hard at the camp to support her AND her young son, finds out her son has died in an accident and it mentally scars her for life.   If we heard this story in real life, we'd all be crying.

And yet.... Jason's the fuckin' bad guy.  Shame on all of us.

Young Voorhees is the PERFECT recipient of this second chance.  He didn't have sex or do drugs or act like a jerk or go into the woods alone or anything.  He was a damn child who got dealt a shitty hand.   Let's rectify that now.

Oh, what is it you say?   If Jason ends up being saved, he doesn't get all mangled up and pissed off, and he never comes back to kill all of the other counselors and none of the other films ever happen?   

Fine.   Bitch all you want.  I'm taking Jason to Walt Disney World and buying him some funnel cake.

My list, my rules.

Okay, that's my ten.  Love it, hate it, set it on fire.  Do what you need to.... but also do THIS.

Let's make this an even dozen.  I will be accepting two characters to add to CAMP REDEMPTION.   Use the comments section below, or better yet, go to Twitter (I'm at @worldbtweethttps://twitter.com/WorldBTweet and give me:

1.  Who you want to save

2.  A brief reason as to why they deserve to get a 2nd chance.

I'll take the best ones and we'll put it to a vote here.   The one with the most votes will receive their choice of either:

(Yes, I have prizes!!!)

1. THE MAKING OF FRIDAY THE 13TH: THE LEGEND OF CAMP BLOOD by David Grove - a used copy, but over 430 pages of behind the scenes stories and pictures of the entire series (through FREDDY VS JASON).

OR:

2. Your choice of any 2 (two) of these used blu-rays:

2nd Place vote-getter gets whatever prize isn't claimed (or can pick 2 of the leftover blu's instead of the book if so desired-- I'm cleaning out space.)

* I'll need a shipping address to send the prizes, so if you feel hesitant about giving that out, you can still send your character choices just for fun. 

* If you put your character in the comments section, either give me a Twitter account handle or email address to contact you if you win.

* If you want to play for the prize, just add a $$$ to your comment or tweet.

* I'll take entries until October 1st then post the best ones for voting.

* Any questions about the contest, don't hesitate to contact me.  It's for fun, but I want anyone who wants to play to have a fair chance with it.

So, get crackin'..... WHO GETS TO LIVE????

Camp Redemption - (Not) Every Friday the 13th Victim Deserves a Second Chance (Part 1 of 2)

If we've all learned one thing through our existence, it is that life can truly, simply, and cruelly be unfair.   You lose out on that big promotion you wanted.   You proclaim your love to another to find out that that love is not returned.    You get your chance to make the big play to win the championship, and you slip and fall.

Or, you get skewered by a fire poker at a summer camp.

When you start looking at people who have been dealt a shitty, unfair hand, no one has a better claim to being upset than the camp counselors and locals who have populated Camp Crystal Lake (yes, the residents of Haddonfield, Elm Street, and a certain portion of Texas may disagree, but the numbers speak for themselves.   Crystal Lake delivers the bad luck in MUCH higher numbers).   And yes, over the course of twelve films (including pairing films and reboots) there have been MANY people who deserved to be on the wrong end of a spear gun or weed whacker, there have a been a small distinct group of people who were either seriously "in the wrong place at the wrong time," or were just plain done wrong by lazy plotting and misunderstood characterization.

Until today.

We've been inundated over the past two decades with reality show after reality show.   There's no end in sight; people just eat them up.   Some are dating shows; some are cooking programs.  And no reality trope has shown to be as time-tested and steadily popular as the put a group of people together and let them survive the elements to win a big cash prize.   You've got your "SURVIVOR,"  your "AMAZING RACE," and your "BIG BROTHER."   Now, I am proud to bring you the newest, and most revolutionary of all of these reality "survival" shows.

Survival from the business end of a fish-scaling knife.  Eating bugs and tribal councils ain't got jack shit on: 

Yup.  We're gonna take a bunch of people and dump them at Camp Crystal Lake.  Last one surviving wins.... well, hell.... survival.   So straightforward and simple.   Make alliances or go lone wolf.   Try to run or hunker down in a cabin with handmade weapons.  We don't care; it's up to the contestant to figure it out.   The stuff practically writes itself.

But how do we find contestants?   It can't possibly be easy to get people to VOLUNTEER to head to a camp where over a hundred people have been killed over the course of a dozen movies (and yes, damnit, I know there is Camp Forest Green and the trip to Alice's house to put a knife in her ear and the trip to the hospital when Jason was dead but wasn't really dead and the graveyard and Elm Street and outer space and I guess what I'm saying is shut the fuck up and let me finish.)   So, after much hand-wringing, we decided on our favorite method of casting.

Give previous victims a second chance.  

We decided to scroll through every minute of every FRIDAY THE 13TH movie (a lot of carnage, to say the least) and find the ten characters who most deserved a second lease on life.   We determined the winners based on a very specific set of criteria (haha, no... we definitely just thought of some people who we liked and would like to see again if we had the chance.  You seriously fell for the criteria line?  What a maroon.)

OKAY, SOME BASIC CRITERIA.  FOR REAL.

We did have a couple of things we used to determine our final list.  These are not only subjective choices, but they led us to a series of picks that were even more subjective.

1.  LIKABILITY -- Was the character fun to have around?   Did you enjoy their company, and if they were near you, would you be happy, or would you want to ram a ball-peen hammer through their nasal cavity?   

2. FAIR/UNFAIR -- Did the character honestly deserve to die?   Were they an honorable person that got screwed?  Were they killed too soon?   Did a screenwriter botch their shit up in a terrible fashion?

3. PLOT ADVANCEMENT -- If this character was allowed to go on living, would it change the plot line of the films in any way?   Would the FRIDAY THE 13TH series possibly end up different because of THIS person's survival?

4. MISCELLANEOUS -- We gave ourselves the option to add points to any character's final score based on any reason we wanted.   NOTE:  One original criteria that we did nix was looks.   We were going to have special compensation for those who showed their boobs, but we decided against it at the last second.  Stay tuned for our inside look at CHAINED HEAT in a future post to see how long our purity lasts.

After drawing up our list, we ended up with eighteen names for ten spots.   Of course, we just could have made eighteen spots, but we aren't that bright.   So we had to whittle the list down to reach our original goal.  This would also mean that some of the films (at least two) would have no representation whatsoever.   And that's fine, because some of these casts suuuuuuuuuuuucked.

HONORABLE MENTION

(Not her.  She sucks.)

JULIUS - FRIDAY THE 13TH 8 - JASON TAKES MANHATTAN

The man does nothing of note until this, which is the high point of the entire film.   Goes mano a mano, toe to toe, with the champ and does a serviceable job... until his head ends up in a dumpster.  Nice try, Julius.  Maybe next time.

DIANA - JASON GOES TO HELL

Noble character that dies too early, even though she does it heroically.  Points for being played by Erin Gray, who was one of my childhood crushes on BUCK ROGERS.

MADDY - FRIDAY THE 13TH 7 - THE NEW BLOOD

Maddy makes the HM list because 1) peer pressure isn't a good reason for Jason to attack (she gets killed for trying makeup?) and 2) I had to put SOMEONE from this crappy sequel on the list.   I came THISCLOSE to putting Terry Kiser's doctor here instead.   

LINDERMAN - FREDDY VS JASON

He plays the noble nerd very.... um, nobly.  Gets points for doing the noble sacrifice death.  Only misses the list because he gets a lot of screen time in FREDDY and might not have much more to offer our show.

JENNA - FRIDAY THE 13TH REMAKE 

Great switcheroo in this one.  Jenna looks like the Final Girl, acts like the Final Girl, appears to be everything that the Final Girl should be and then OOPSIE!   Well done character only misses out due to also having a ton of screen time in the film.  A close call here, though.

CORT - JASON LIVES

Of all of the immature wise-asses that the series has brought to us, Cort seems to be the one that you might most be able to tolerate hanging around.   His nature walk with the young boy campers is a hoot, and he rocks an RV like no other.  JASON LIVES also has the most likable cast overall and is well-represented here to be sure.

VICKI - JASON GOES TO HELL

I can't believe we are putting up TWO from the ninth film in this series, which ranks wayyy down the list in terms of overall quality.  However, when you employ professional competent actors and actresses in the parts, good things CAN happen, and having ex-sitcom child star Allison Smith in a key "noble hero" role doesn't hurt one bit.

SHELLY - FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 3

Oh, this one was tough.  Really it was.   He's annoying as hell at times, but let's be honest... Shelly is nothing more than the kind, mild-mannered movie nerd trying to fit in with the "cool crowd."  If you are reading this article, you have probably acted or felt like Shelly at some point.   Also, actor Larry Zerner (who is now a lawyer) has been a great ambassador for both the FRIDAY series and horror movies in general on Twitter and other social media.   So close, but Shelly's annoying-ness makes him miss the list by the absolute closest of margins.

Okay, that's who ALMOST made the cut.   We'll be back on Wednesday with the Magic Gang, the Top of the Class, The Final Ten.   We shall not be persuaded on our choices (and we have some doozies and wild surprises!) but between now and Wednesday night, feel free to disagree with our Honorable Mention or to give us your own FRIDAY series characters who are deserving of a second chance.   We won't substitute yours in to our list, but if you guess any of ours right, we will give you credit on Wednesday.

Until then--

Runnin' to Redbox.... and Playin' with Netflix, too!

I know that most of my posts so far have focused on films from the 70's and 80's (mostly 80's); however, I do try to keep myself as current as possible.   Also, as noted in my last blog post about themes, my viewing theme for September is "Runnin' to Redbox," where I try to watch as many 2017 films as I have time for in a month.

I'm never going to do full-length reviews around here, as there are bloggers and critics who do a WAY better job at it than I would, in terms of describing the plot and giving you the specific details you want.   I will give you some mini-critiques now of some of the movies I've watched in the first seven days of September.

FATE OF THE FURIOUS

I was never a big fan of the "Fast and the Furious" series during what we'll call Act One (the first three films, also known as the "Look how fast my car is!" group).   My affection for the films came during Act Two, the "Holy Shit, we're James Bond movies now!" phase.   Starting slowly with "episode" four and working consistently since, the Universal series has become steadily more bizarre, more preposterous, and somehow....more fun.  FAST AND FURIOUS 6 may be the peak of the series.  

Sadly, I'm here to report that installment eight, FATE OF THE FURIOUS, might be the first one in the second phase to bring us diminished returns.   This is the first of the series where new cast additions just feel to be too much (nowhere near enough for everyone to do), and no matter how psyched I was that she had been cast, Charlize Theron just ends up being a mid-level villain.   I expected too much.   No matter who they end up casting, the performances have never been more than caricatures and they never will be.

The final act sequence on the ice in Russia is appropriately bat-shit enough, and it did make me laugh several times at the utter implausibility (and in this series, that is undeniably a GOOD thing for me... the crazier the stunt, the better).   I'm still trying to figure out how I've become so fond of Tyrese Gibson as Roman in this series.   Usually the "Hell, no!" character in an action or comedy film is the most grating and worthless to me, but over the run of this series, Roman has become my MVP and, when they inevitably start shedding characters in the sequels to come, Roman damn well better make the cut.

As a matter of fact, for those of you who HAVE seen it, I pitch FURIOUS 9 as a scaled down actioner, with only Tyrese, Jason Statham, Helen Mirren (who has so little to do in this one and is still so wonderful in it) and the scene-stealing baby.   Everyone else can go.  I can get you script pages by Monday.

THE WALL

Oooooh, I REALLY wanted to like this one.   I saw the preview during the winter and it looked like it was right up my alley.   Small-scale, big-stakes, filled with tension and with a lean running time of around 85 minutes.  Yet, this tale of two American soldiers pinned down by a playful and dangerous sniper in Iraq starts to sputter about halfway in and never builds up to the highs that I was hoping for when I started it.

Aaron Taylor-Johnson and John Cena play the American soldiers who are tasked with making sure an area is clear of enemies.   However, they themselves get targeted by a sniper.  The sniper shoots and injures Cena and Taylor-Johnson is able to get behind a poorly put together (and quickly falling apart) wall of rocks.   At this point, we get a radio game of cat and mouse between Taylor-Johnson's soldier and the sniper.   It definitely is super tense at first, and the cat and mouse parts work very well.   

Sadly, though, director Doug Liman doesn't have much up his sleeve for the second half of the film.   I was really expecting the soldier(s) to try and figure out a smart, cunning way of escaping their plight.  I was hoping that the film would become a matter of each side trying to get one step ahead of the other until the credits roll.   Instead, we get a lot more... talk.   

The acting from Taylor-Johnson and Cena is fine, and the film does zip along quite swiftly at the start.   But to me, this felt like a film where they had an excellent concept for the starting point, and then tried to improvise their way through to the conclusion.

THE DEVIL'S CANDY

I don't know if there is a single scare in THE DEVIL'S CANDY, yet I remained riveted and disturbed straight through.   Finding it on Netflix last weekend (and having star Ethan Embry tell me in person at Monster Mania in August that I needed to see it!), I kicked back at 1:30 in the morning figuring it would take me a second viewing over the weekend to finish it, and I was thrown for a fast paced,  utterly gripping little film.

Embry and Shiri Appleby play a couple looking for a home to move into with their teenage daughter.   They find a nice sized home, with a large barn that will be perfect for artist Embry to set up a studio in.    However, it also comes with the requisite "we need to let you know that people have died here" speech from the realtors.   The couple decides to buy it, anyway, and at first, of course, everything seems perfect.  Embry is suddenly inspired to do great paintings, and the family seems happy.

Needless to say, the happiness doesn't last long.   I won't spoil any of the fun of THE DEVIL'S CANDY, but instead of a simple film about one of the family members being possessed or the house being like the one in Amityville, the movie plays as a fun concoction of Satanist tract, home invasion film, and a heavy metal nightmare.   

Embry is great in the film, as is Appleby.   Pruitt Taylor Vince plays another of his standard silent psycho types, but he does get to shred metal on a guitar, which is a definite highlight of the picture.   Writer/director Sean Byrne knows what he wants to do from frame one (I still need to see his previous film, 2009's THE LOVED ONES), and I was literally sitting up in bed through the last twenty minutes of this one.   Get your butts over to Netflix and watch this now, or better yet, go buy it on DVD or Blu-Ray and show support to fun independent horror efforts.

UNFORGETTABLE

Oh, why could you not have been more trashy, movie?

Denise DiNovi, longtime producer (HEATHERS, BATMAN RETURNS, ED WOOD, SISTERHOOD OF THE TRAVELING PANTS) chose this script to make her long-overdue feature directing debut.   The plot, about a woman (Rosario Dawson) who's put a dark, secret life behind her only to be newly terrorized by the ex-wife (KATHERINE HEIGL) of the man she is now engaged to, screams out to be made as an overwrought Lifetime Network thriller.  All of the elements are in place, but DiNovi plays it... straight.  And quite competently; the film is well-acted and shot throughout.   DiNovi has put together a very sharp crew that makes this film play way better than it has a right to... and that's the trouble.

This should be fun.   Yes, it would be need to be more ramshackle, have more plot contrivances and weird coincidences, and it would be need to be more than a little batshit crazy.   Yet, those things would make this film all the more enjoyable to sit through.    Heigl's character is mentally deranged, but the film introduces the character of her mother (Cheryl Ladd), who is just as tightly wound and ready to snap.  We get the reason that Heigl has turned out the way she has, and this makes her character come off as... almost sympathetic.   Wrong choice in a film like this, silly or not.  My villain must be a good villain in a thriller like UNFORGETTABLE.   She can't be looked upon as a potential symbol of pity.

So many missed opportunities.   Damn you, Denise DiNovi, for trying to do a good job.  Be sloppier next time, and you might have an A-grade loony classic.

(And yes, I know I'm not the target audience for UNFORGETTABLE.  But, I AM the target audience for the wild and zany version of UNFORGETTABLE that resides inside my brain.  So there.)

SMALL CRIMES

After 2013's CHEAP THRILLS, I was excited to see what director E.L. Katz would do next.  I had to wait four years for a follow-up, but SMALL CRIMES was absolutely worth the time.

Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, a million miles away from Jaime Lannister in GAME OF THRONES (and doing a very nice job as a seedy lowlife character; I can't wait to watch SHOT CALLER, which also places him in a tough con role and is supposed to be excellent), plays a man getting out of prison after serving a sentence for attempted murder.    His Joe character simply wants to get on with his life and reunite with his children.   The criminal world he left behind has other ideas.

There are absolutely many things in SMALL CRIMES that you've seen in similar films, so don't come looking for originality.  The film, and its characters, have a true, lived-in feeling to them, that makes this film resonate quite a bit more than other crime thrillers that delve more into the action side of things.   Joe wants to start anew and repair all of the damage, but everyone he returns to either wants the old Joe, or no Joe at all.   Most of them have simply moved on without him.  The rest need him to settle old scores.

The key to SMALL CRIMES, besides all of the great small touches that it provides, is the killer cast.   Along with Coster-Waldau, you get Robert Forster, Jacki Weaver, Gary Cole, Molly Parker, and in a smaller role, CHEAP THRILLS alum Pat Healy.   The cast shoots sparks from the get-go, and is more than enough reason to find this on Netflix.

And I can't let this capsule review end without mentioning the ending.  Although it makes total sense afterward, it comes out of nowhere and floors you.   I'm not sure if I'll see an ending more powerful and devastating in 2017.

ALIEN: COVENANT


Since just about everyone took their shots at reviewing this and making sense of it when it came out in May, I won't go long on this one.   After watching it, I absolutely understand why everyone was so split on it.  The movie is split on itself.   Very rarely have I seen a film so schizophrenic in such an equal, 50/50 manner.

There are two distinct stories at work here, and they make only the mininum effort to try to intertwine.   I can appreciate everything that Ridley Scott and the screenwriters are trying to say with the David character and creation.   This could have been a fascinating "thinking man's" sci-fi film delving deep into that topic.  Add on top of that the character that Billy Crudup plays, which is supposed to be devoutly religious, and you have the components for a very smart, very original film.

But you need the alien attacks.  We must have the alien attacks in an ALIEN film.  And they do happen, staged almost in the same timing patterns as the kill shots in a FRIDAY THE 13TH film.  If you're getting bored, don't worry... Ridley's gonna have a chest burster in the next 3 minutes!

So there we are.  Everytime the religion/creation angle heats up, we have to get gory.  And every time the action gets super tense and we are enjoying the roller coaster ride of a standard ALIEN sequel, slowwwww down!  Time for some sermonizin'!

I've been a fan of the series since the outset, and my feelings/rankings usually sit where the majority of viewers do.  I love the first two and can rank them 1-2 or 2-1 depending on my mood.  I can now appreciate ALIEN 3 as the flawed masterpiece that it is, rather than the botched follow-up by a novice music video director.  And I rightly put the ALIEN vs PREDATOR films wayyyyyy down at the bottom.

Who knows where I'll finally come down on this one.... maybe I'll see this in the same kind of light I look at ALIEN 3 now.   It's possible, but for now, I just see COVENANT as an ambitious mess.


I HAD IT ON MY WALL

(Ok, I didn't actually have it on my wall, but someday I might)

Lionsgate is ripping themselves off this year.   Can you sue yourself for stealing licensed property?



WHILE I'M THINKIN' ABOUT IT...

My last blog post was about themes for movie viewing.   The concept was that if you choose a theme for each month, you never hit that "wall" where you can't decide what to watch.   Draw a blank, go back to the theme.

After writing the post, I saw a great theme that my Twitter film buddy Cinemonster is doing and has done before.   It is HOOPTOBER!

I will provide you the beginning of what Cinemonster puts on his Hooptober page, and then I'll leave it for you to follow the links and see the rest for yourself.  This is exactly what I was talking about with themes, and he has done an AMAZING job with this over the past few years.  I strongly recommend participating!

Here's how he starts off:

"Greetings from the home of George Romero, Tom Savini, Chilly Billy and the perpetually awesome Jeff GoldBlum. This is Hooptober 4.O. Sadly since last year we have lost both Billy and George, but we have become a popular place for Richard Linklater to hang out. (which makes this Austin boy happy)


Last years version destroyed our first 2 years, and gave us a several hundred great lists and well over 1500 reviews, thoughts and impressions to read. The most enjoyable part for me, as always, was to see what everyone chose to watch, and the reactions to some of the stranger shit out there that people found."

To read more, go to Cinemonster's Hooptober page, which is located here.   You can also follow Cinemonster on Twitter here.  Check it out today!


I HEARD IT

While I'm on the subject of Film Twitter buddies, the awesome Albert Muller brought up the film, DIGGSTOWN, tonight.  I love this 1992 STING-like film about boxing and con men, and Albert loves it fifty times more than I.  While talking about it with him, I got the fine score by James Newton Howard in my head.

(If you can't click on that video on your mobile device, try here.)

You can follow Albert to talk about DIGGSTOWN or lots of other movies on Twitter by clicking here.