Before we dig into the meat of this post, let's address a subject that every one of you faces every single damned day, whether it is you personally, someone you know in "real life," or someone you hear complaining on Twitter.
We are talking about the dreaded, the horrible, the absolute Hell-spawn of movie topics. We are talking about:
"I've got x (x = how many movies the person owns or has access to on streaming, cable, etc) movies, and I have nooooooo idea what to watch!"
We've all been there. I used to work in a Blockbuster, and I would try to find a movie to put on while we opened the store first thing in the morning. There were no customers in the building for another hour to two hours, so the sky was the limit in terms of what I could watch. NOTHING was taboo (well, it WAS Blockbuster, so plenty was taboo...) so I could watch anything. But time would swiftly tick off of the clock as I just couldn't make up my mind. For every five times I went to pick something out, I either couldn't pick anything at all, or I went to a small group of standbys (more on that list at the bottom-- don't cheat and skip to it!) that I played when I couldn't come up with something new or better.
So, I get you, I do... I have about 400-450 blu-rays (maybe more, stopped counting), I have Netflix, I have Amazon Prime, I have Shudder, and I have friends, family members and co-workers who have plenty of movies that I don't have. So I get you.
But, everyone.... stop it. S to the T to the OP it. You don't need to go through this headache. You don't need to drive yourself crazy. And you certainly do not have to drive everyone around you crazy with your craziness.
Do Themes.
It's soooo simple. Pick a topic. Pick a decade. Pick an actor. Go nuts... pick whatever you please. But get yourself a theme for every week or month. If you hit "thinker's block" and you can't decide what to put on, activate said theme and voila! You instantly have a MUCH smaller catalog to choose from. (And you don't have to limit yourself to JUST the theme for that month-- use it as a fallback whenever you can't decide. Or be like me and go whole hog-- just how many films can I watch from that theme every month.)
Themes are easy. Here are mine for the past few months:
* MAY - 1980 and 1981 films
* JUNE - PICK MY VIEWS (I had Twitter followers choose movies for me that I hadn't ever seen)
* JULY - RUNNIN' TO REDBOX - take a month to catch up on all of the recent movies I may have missed (included several extra trips to the theatre as well)
* AUGUST - UNWRAP MY BLUS AUGUST - I had been buying more blu-rays than I had been watching. I unwrapped 32 that I had previously bought and watched them throughout the month.
* SEPTEMBER - RUNNIN' TO REDBOX again!
* OCTOBER - for the first time in years, I think I'm skipping a month of horror movies for Halloween, and instead I'll be focusing on the years 2000 to 2005. There are MANY films there I've only seen once, or, even worse, not at all. A weird blind spot for me.
That's just me. But you can see that I've come up with areas and time periods that I've been weak on, and I've used those to complement my usual viewing patterns. I usually post my totals at the end of the month on Twitter to see how I did.
And it's not just me... some websites/blogs/podcasts set up theme months of their own.
Patrick Bromley at fthismovie.net does a fantastic service to the movie viewing community with his annual JUNESPLOITATION offering. He sets up a June calendar with daily subjects (slasher movies, sci-fi actioners, Italian gorefests) and then leaves it up to his followers and listeners to choose something within that particular topic. He sets up a #Junesploitation hashtag and it is simply marvelous to watch everyone chime in each day with their selections. Not only does it cure the "thinker's block" for a lot of people, but it is truly a blast. Check out Patrick's site when you are done here, and follow him on Twitter at @fthismovie and @patrickbromley.
So... themes, people! It's still early in September. Develop a theme to do a test run. If you're using your collection, pull out a small stack of films that would fit under that particular theme. And whenever you can't decide on something specific, HIT THAT DAMN STACK! Your family will be proud of you, your friends will be proud of you, and for cryin' out loud, I'll be shit-on-a-stick proud of you myself! Go team!
Also, so you can keep the theme of Themes fresh in your mind, I've even designed a banner that you can keep for home use. Feel free to hang it on the refrigerator, tape to your front door, or glue to the bumper of your car. Be a proud member of Team Theme.
(This copy is free. If you lose it, replacement copies are $6.99 through my PR team.)
TOP 5 LIST!!!!
I mentioned earlier that, while working mornings at Blockbuster, my "thinker's block" got so bad that I either put on no movie at all.... or I fell back on the same handful of movies every time. You might be asking, "What were those movies?" (And a small group of you might not-- and to you folks..... I hate you. I hate you all. You are here for me, and only for me. If I tell you to jump, you should not only ask "how high?" but you should take selfies of yourself while jumping so I can see just how exciting that shit was. I demand your fealty. Bow before me now. I am the ONE.)
Oh, right.... Top 5 list.
THE TOP 5 MOVIES THAT BOB WATCHED OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN DURING HIS LENGTHY TIME AT BLOCKBUSTER VIDEO:
(No particular order, and you'll see that each of these is much more dialogue driven, so they are very easy to keep track of while you do actual work. Yes, I did work, too. Oh, quiet, you.)
1. AND JUSTICE FOR ALL (1979) - Love the movie. It absolutely wears it's liberal heart on its sleeve, and although not the most solid script of all time, it has something to say, and damnit to hell if it's not going to take the time to say it. Al Pacino gets several BIG moments in this one (we are starting to head into the "hoo-ahh" section of Pacino's career) and yes, the "You're out of order!!!" scene is here, too. Episodic but charming and audience-friendly as hell.
2. ARTHUR (1981) - Everyone talks about the job that the late Steve Gordon did here with his script and directorial effort. Everyone talks about the job that Dudley Moore, John Gielgud, Liza Minnelli and the rest of the cast did. Now, turn your head away from the screen, work on some morning paperwork and it is simply stunning how GOLDEN the dialogue is in this film. The one-liners and tear-jerking moments shine through equally, and the conclusion that I get is Steve Gordon (who died after this and never made another film) ends up being one of the saddest "What if...?" questions in movie history. His work is stunningly good.
3. GLENGARRY GLEN ROSS (1992) - I'm not the hugest Pacino guy, yet I have two of his films here. Based on a play by David Mamet, this film features tons and tons of crisp profane dialogue, and it is VERY easy to keep up with just by listening. GLENGARRY GLEN ROSS would work well as an audiotape while driving a long distance. The cast pops, and the words crackle. Shit, this film is Rice Krispies.
4. PCU (1994) -- So underrated, and now that EVERY SINGLE COMEDY has to end with warm and fuzzy feelings (romance, etc.) it's almost shocking to go back and find films that just wanted to be funny from start to finish. Not even close to ANIMAL HOUSE, but the 90's closest attempt to capture the slobs vs snobs battles on college campuses, this film gives me THE perfect Jeremy Piven performance (don't @ me with your ENTOURAGE rebuttals), great foils in Jessica Walter and David Spade, and a VERY early performance by Jon Favreau ("Don't be that guy.") So much good comedy and at only 79 minutes, it was one of the few films that I could start AND finish before we opened for business.
5. LET IT RIDE (1989) - I'm not going to go long on this one, because I have a TON to say about this film, and will be devoting a blog post at some point very soon to do just that. But although I'll never list it in my Top 5 movies of all-time, or my Top 10, or my Top 50.... I've probably seen LET IT RIDE about nine hundred and seventy one times. Of those times, I've actually been focused on the screen watching it for about five of them. This was my ALL-TIME "before opening" video, and I can't explain why. Actually, I will explain why in that upcoming post. So stay tuned. Seriously, you better.
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